Mixed up: Mary and the baby Jesus
Mary is going to give birth any day now to her first child, a bouncing baby boy. She’s a “statistic,” as she says—a single mother. But, to me she’s a lot more than just a statistic; she’s a friend that I’ve known since high school. And even though we don’t keep in close touch anymore, I do still think about her often. She was a big part of my life during my high school and early college years, as we both enjoyed each other’s taste in music and senses of humor. We went to several concerts together, and she holds the distinction of remaining in my mother’s disdain to this very day because she accompanied me on a trip to Iowa to see Nirvana in 1993. (Long story short, I attempted to skip school—without telling my parents—to see Nirvana. The plan succeeded in so much as I got to see Nirvana. It failed miserably, though, on the cover-up end of things. In retrospect, I guess it wasn’t such a good idea to have my friend Dustin call in sick for me as my dad, especially when my mom worked at the school and was easily accessible to the disbelieving school receptionist. My mom panicked, pulling my friends out of class to question them on my whereabouts. Poor Mary was guilty by association and marked for life.)
So, she qualifies for one of what I hope is many mix tapes in 2005 to be delivered to my friends around the country that I don’t keep up with as I probably should. But, why do a mix just for her? Won’t the kid feel dissed if he’s not a recipient, too? So, I decided to attempt to do a mix that would appeal to both of them. That was a challenge.
For starters, like most childless adults, I don’t have a lot of music that kids would dig, especially newborns. But, thinking about this mix as something the kid might enjoy for a few years down the road opened up some new possibilities. The trick was to make the mix enjoyable for Mary, too. The music had to be “childish” or “kid-themed,” but at the same time be something that a parent could tolerate, or even enjoy. Plus, I wanted to include some songs that were geared specifically toward her son, while also incorporating songs that were written more from a mother’s point of view. After scouring my collection, it became abundantly clear that there really haven’t been a lot of songs (at least decent ones that I would own) written from the point of view of a parent or a baby. Nor did I own a lot of “kiddy” songs. Matter of fact, if not for Jonathan Richman, I’d be nearly doomed in that regard. And most songs that feature the word “baby” use it in reference to a lover, not a child. Luckily, in some instances, the usage of “baby” in the context of the song is ambiguous enough to make it inclusive to either child or lover.
Anyway, here’s what I came up with and titled A Reminder: Boy’s Don’t Cry.
01 Superman Intro
A humorous little tidbit taken from this old Superman comic I have that was one of those read-along seven-inch dealies. Superman saves a boy from a skateboarding accident and proceeds to tell him the story of his life.
02 The Meters, “Tippi-Toes”
How could a kid not love this song, with its loopy bass line, groovy organ, and funky rhythm guitar? It puts a smile on my face every time I hear it, and I’m 28. I think there’ll be some crib-shaking boogieing going on to this number.
03 The Delmonas, “That Boy of Mine”
“I don’t care if the sun don’t shine, as long as I can see that boy of mine.” Okay, so this one kinda skirts the whole not appropriate for a mother-child song issue, but whatever. The chorus is spot-on, and The Delmonas treatment of the girl-group classic is fun.
04 The Ramones, “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”
“When I’m lying in my bed at night, I don’t wanna grow up.” Don’t become a jaded, cynical fuck like the rest of us. Stay young, youngster!
05 The Coasters, “Yakety Yak”
Obligatory kid song. Is this what the poor boy has to look forward to?
06 The Modern Lovers, “Rockin’ Rockin’ Leprechauns”
I could have easily chosen Jonathan Richman songs for the entire mix. If you’ve got kids and you haven’t introduced them to Richman yet, well, then shame on you. This particular song is just a personal fave. “Mother nature’s leprechauns have come back to rock and roll. See them rockin’ and a rolling, and they’re wobbling and a wiggling, and they’re fumbling and a gigglin’. They’re here to rock and roll!”
07 Dr. West’s Medicine Show & Junk Band, “The Circus Left Town Today”
Norman Greenbaum—who would go on to release “Spirit in the Sky” in the ‘70s—gives us a melancholic wave goodbye to the big top. I hope the circus never goes out of style for the young’uns.
08 The Beatles, “Blackbird”
This is more an inspiring song for the mother than the son, although the kid may get a kick outta the bird chirping in the background. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”
09 Simon & Garfunkel, “At the Zoo”
It IS all happening at the zoo! You’re never too young to start dreaming of wild, exotic animals, are you? I love this song, even if it uses words that are too big for any nine year-old to understand, let alone an infant.
10 T. Rex, “Cosmic Dancer”
“Danced myself right out the womb…Is it strange to dance so soon?” I’m sure Mary will wish this kid danced himself right out the womb.
11 Winnie the Pooh segue
Did you know that Winnie the Pooh considers his author, A.A. Milne, to be his “fauther”? Now you do.
12 The Beach Boys, “Don’t Worry Baby”
Single parenting can be a difficult task, if I’m to believe what I see on TV. But, I’m sure this kid is in good hands. Plus, he’s got Uncle Mike around, and he’s handy with the tools I’m told. (Just forget the lyric, “Oh what she does to me, when she makes love to me,” and this song is a no-brainer.)
13 Earle Mankey, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
Mankey’s fucked-up rendition of this doo-wop hit from 1961 is a sure-fire cult classic with the kiddies in crib land. If you hate this song in its original (or Disneyfied) version, you may actually find this version intriguing.
14 Silicon Teens, “Oh Boy!”
“When you’re with me the world can see that you were meant for me.” This one actually works well as a mother-son “love song.” And you can really boogie to the Teens’ electronic adaptation from 1980.
15 The Coctails, “Cakewalk”
I knew my Coctails’ Songs for Children seven-inch would come in handy someday!
16 The Undertones, “Male Model”
This might be a bit rowdy for the crib, but whatever! The kid should know he’s got some options, and baby models get paid handsomely.
17 The Vaselines, “Son of a Gun”
He’s gonna be introduced to the fine art of guitar feedback sooner or later, so The Vaselines might as well steal his virginity. “The sun shines in in the bedroom when you play, and the rain it always starts when you go away.” In hindsight, it’s quite possible that the guitar/piano stabs that enter over the chorus might disturb the child or cause traumatic nightmares. Mary will have to keep us updated.
18 The Rolling Stones, “Time Is on My Side”
Well, it’s true. (Even if Mick wasn’t singing to an infant when he wrote these words.)
19 Joe Turner & His Blues Kings, “Shake, Rattle and Roll”
Get it? Rattle! Hahahaha…
20 The Ramones, “Rock ‘N’ Roll High School”
It’s never too soon to think about the boy’s education. A little brainwashing in the infant years can’t hurt, either.
21 “Cookie Disco” segue
Is Sesame Street still popular with the kids? This song—performed by Cookie Monster, of course—surely has to be. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
22 James Brown, “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”
“…but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl.” See, I’m making sure the boy gives his mom the proper respect from the get-go.
23 The English Beat, “Twist & Crawl”
I’m working the kid toward his first significant step.
24 Ray Charles, “Tell All the World About You”
“I wanna walk about and talk about and tell all the world about you.” Hopefully, Mary will feel like this more days than not.
25 The Who, “I’m a Boy”
Nothing like introducing a little androgyny into the kid’s life, although I’m pretty sure Mary will shy away from the color pink.
26 Big Star, “When My Baby’s Beside Me”
“Don’t need to talk to my doctor. Don’t need to talk to my shrink. …Because when my baby’s beside me I don’t worry…” They say that a newborn can have a calming affect on one’s soul.
27 The Modern Lovers, “The Wheels on the Bus”
Richman’s chorus makes his version far superior to others. Plus, there’s a monster—big surprise—on the bus in this version, which only adds to the song’s charm.
28 Os Mutantes, “Baby”
A nice Portuguese ballad to close the mix. (It was later re-recorded in English, but I don’t have that version.) I love love love this song, and when I looked up the transcribed lyrics, I actually found out that the verses were written from the point of view of a parent speaking to a child. “You need to learn what I know and more than I know… Baby, I love you.”
29 Superman Outro
We bring things full circle. After hearing Superman’s life-story, the boy learns not to ride his skateboard on city streets and is whisked “up and away” by the man in tights. A happy ending indeed.
N/P—A rather enlightening tape of one of my radio shows from college. Did I actually use a Lifetime song for my show's theme music?
So, she qualifies for one of what I hope is many mix tapes in 2005 to be delivered to my friends around the country that I don’t keep up with as I probably should. But, why do a mix just for her? Won’t the kid feel dissed if he’s not a recipient, too? So, I decided to attempt to do a mix that would appeal to both of them. That was a challenge.
For starters, like most childless adults, I don’t have a lot of music that kids would dig, especially newborns. But, thinking about this mix as something the kid might enjoy for a few years down the road opened up some new possibilities. The trick was to make the mix enjoyable for Mary, too. The music had to be “childish” or “kid-themed,” but at the same time be something that a parent could tolerate, or even enjoy. Plus, I wanted to include some songs that were geared specifically toward her son, while also incorporating songs that were written more from a mother’s point of view. After scouring my collection, it became abundantly clear that there really haven’t been a lot of songs (at least decent ones that I would own) written from the point of view of a parent or a baby. Nor did I own a lot of “kiddy” songs. Matter of fact, if not for Jonathan Richman, I’d be nearly doomed in that regard. And most songs that feature the word “baby” use it in reference to a lover, not a child. Luckily, in some instances, the usage of “baby” in the context of the song is ambiguous enough to make it inclusive to either child or lover.
Anyway, here’s what I came up with and titled A Reminder: Boy’s Don’t Cry.
01 Superman Intro
A humorous little tidbit taken from this old Superman comic I have that was one of those read-along seven-inch dealies. Superman saves a boy from a skateboarding accident and proceeds to tell him the story of his life.
02 The Meters, “Tippi-Toes”
How could a kid not love this song, with its loopy bass line, groovy organ, and funky rhythm guitar? It puts a smile on my face every time I hear it, and I’m 28. I think there’ll be some crib-shaking boogieing going on to this number.
03 The Delmonas, “That Boy of Mine”
“I don’t care if the sun don’t shine, as long as I can see that boy of mine.” Okay, so this one kinda skirts the whole not appropriate for a mother-child song issue, but whatever. The chorus is spot-on, and The Delmonas treatment of the girl-group classic is fun.
04 The Ramones, “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”
“When I’m lying in my bed at night, I don’t wanna grow up.” Don’t become a jaded, cynical fuck like the rest of us. Stay young, youngster!
05 The Coasters, “Yakety Yak”
Obligatory kid song. Is this what the poor boy has to look forward to?
06 The Modern Lovers, “Rockin’ Rockin’ Leprechauns”
I could have easily chosen Jonathan Richman songs for the entire mix. If you’ve got kids and you haven’t introduced them to Richman yet, well, then shame on you. This particular song is just a personal fave. “Mother nature’s leprechauns have come back to rock and roll. See them rockin’ and a rolling, and they’re wobbling and a wiggling, and they’re fumbling and a gigglin’. They’re here to rock and roll!”
07 Dr. West’s Medicine Show & Junk Band, “The Circus Left Town Today”
Norman Greenbaum—who would go on to release “Spirit in the Sky” in the ‘70s—gives us a melancholic wave goodbye to the big top. I hope the circus never goes out of style for the young’uns.
08 The Beatles, “Blackbird”
This is more an inspiring song for the mother than the son, although the kid may get a kick outta the bird chirping in the background. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”
09 Simon & Garfunkel, “At the Zoo”
It IS all happening at the zoo! You’re never too young to start dreaming of wild, exotic animals, are you? I love this song, even if it uses words that are too big for any nine year-old to understand, let alone an infant.
10 T. Rex, “Cosmic Dancer”
“Danced myself right out the womb…Is it strange to dance so soon?” I’m sure Mary will wish this kid danced himself right out the womb.
11 Winnie the Pooh segue
Did you know that Winnie the Pooh considers his author, A.A. Milne, to be his “fauther”? Now you do.
12 The Beach Boys, “Don’t Worry Baby”
Single parenting can be a difficult task, if I’m to believe what I see on TV. But, I’m sure this kid is in good hands. Plus, he’s got Uncle Mike around, and he’s handy with the tools I’m told. (Just forget the lyric, “Oh what she does to me, when she makes love to me,” and this song is a no-brainer.)
13 Earle Mankey, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
Mankey’s fucked-up rendition of this doo-wop hit from 1961 is a sure-fire cult classic with the kiddies in crib land. If you hate this song in its original (or Disneyfied) version, you may actually find this version intriguing.
14 Silicon Teens, “Oh Boy!”
“When you’re with me the world can see that you were meant for me.” This one actually works well as a mother-son “love song.” And you can really boogie to the Teens’ electronic adaptation from 1980.
15 The Coctails, “Cakewalk”
I knew my Coctails’ Songs for Children seven-inch would come in handy someday!
16 The Undertones, “Male Model”
This might be a bit rowdy for the crib, but whatever! The kid should know he’s got some options, and baby models get paid handsomely.
17 The Vaselines, “Son of a Gun”
He’s gonna be introduced to the fine art of guitar feedback sooner or later, so The Vaselines might as well steal his virginity. “The sun shines in in the bedroom when you play, and the rain it always starts when you go away.” In hindsight, it’s quite possible that the guitar/piano stabs that enter over the chorus might disturb the child or cause traumatic nightmares. Mary will have to keep us updated.
18 The Rolling Stones, “Time Is on My Side”
Well, it’s true. (Even if Mick wasn’t singing to an infant when he wrote these words.)
19 Joe Turner & His Blues Kings, “Shake, Rattle and Roll”
Get it? Rattle! Hahahaha…
20 The Ramones, “Rock ‘N’ Roll High School”
It’s never too soon to think about the boy’s education. A little brainwashing in the infant years can’t hurt, either.
21 “Cookie Disco” segue
Is Sesame Street still popular with the kids? This song—performed by Cookie Monster, of course—surely has to be. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
22 James Brown, “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”
“…but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl.” See, I’m making sure the boy gives his mom the proper respect from the get-go.
23 The English Beat, “Twist & Crawl”
I’m working the kid toward his first significant step.
24 Ray Charles, “Tell All the World About You”
“I wanna walk about and talk about and tell all the world about you.” Hopefully, Mary will feel like this more days than not.
25 The Who, “I’m a Boy”
Nothing like introducing a little androgyny into the kid’s life, although I’m pretty sure Mary will shy away from the color pink.
26 Big Star, “When My Baby’s Beside Me”
“Don’t need to talk to my doctor. Don’t need to talk to my shrink. …Because when my baby’s beside me I don’t worry…” They say that a newborn can have a calming affect on one’s soul.
27 The Modern Lovers, “The Wheels on the Bus”
Richman’s chorus makes his version far superior to others. Plus, there’s a monster—big surprise—on the bus in this version, which only adds to the song’s charm.
28 Os Mutantes, “Baby”
A nice Portuguese ballad to close the mix. (It was later re-recorded in English, but I don’t have that version.) I love love love this song, and when I looked up the transcribed lyrics, I actually found out that the verses were written from the point of view of a parent speaking to a child. “You need to learn what I know and more than I know… Baby, I love you.”
29 Superman Outro
We bring things full circle. After hearing Superman’s life-story, the boy learns not to ride his skateboard on city streets and is whisked “up and away” by the man in tights. A happy ending indeed.
N/P—A rather enlightening tape of one of my radio shows from college. Did I actually use a Lifetime song for my show's theme music?
I look forward to the listen. I am sure we will enjoy it. Of the 20 or so mixes you have made me over the years I have yet to be let down. Oh, and thanks for saying all that nice stuff about me...
-Mary
By 
, at 8:18 PM
As the baby's dad, I'm very happy that Mary has supportive friends like this. Eric will appreciate it too, I'm sure! :)
-Jason
By , at 11:50 PM
8:18 PMI look forward to the listen. I am sure we will enjoy it. Of the 20 or so mixes you have made me over the years I have yet to be let down. Oh, and thanks for saying all that nice stuff about me...
-Mary
11:50 PM
As the baby's dad, I'm very happy that Mary has supportive friends like this. Eric will appreciate it too, I'm sure! :)
-Jason